there was a time, not so long ago, when my validation was coming from things outside myself. to be honest, i would break into hives (red itchy patches on my arms, chest and face), start to sweat (it wasn't a sparkle..at all), and my legs would twitch and shake (so annoying!) just at the thought of someone i loved or even liked, leaving me or being discontent with me, (my job, teaching yoga, a family member, a friend, a lover). i wanted to make it "better" to "fix it" to "change" so that i could make whatever it was that upset that person not be an issue any longer. i learned, with some mentors, it was fear based anxiety. it got worse, before it started to get better (i still have my days).
i also learned, that in order to stand in my power, i needed to honor who i was. changing myself to seek approval and validation from others did not make me happy (and i am willing to bet it wouldn't satisfy the issue anyway). the most valuable lesson i learned - the people that want your genuine happiness, and care for you, do not want you to change for their approval, and they do not threaten to take anything away from you if you don't agree - especially their love. they want to see you soar as high as you can - even higher than them! the people who really love me on this planet - they love my crazy, forgetful, quirky, free spirited, ever changing, naive, accident prone, car key and cell phone losing ways (thank you for loving me)! so, what about those who become discontent with you? sure, they may make you a little uncomfortable, wave their arms and point their fingers, try to blame you for their unhappiness, but dont you change for them, do not waiver in your power (think about it, would they change for you?). most likely their discontentment has little to do with your actions or behaviors, they have their own inside credential to find. wish them well, and continue on your journey, being exactly who you are...
you have everything you need right inside you, there is no need to seek any further.